I am not writing a book. A book is too big, too overwhelming, too heavy. The tip of its iceberg perches on my shoulder, its cold underbelly scraping my back. Too much responsibility, too many expectations, too many opportunities for failure.
I am not writing a book. I'm playing around with ideas, images, meditations on a theme, Meditations on Melancholia.. now theres a workshop I could run... or run away from!
I'm using the snippet approach, the one I suggest to my students when they get stuck. Snippets can be cut and pasted, glued in, moved around. Snippets are short and sweet, complete or incomplete. Snippets rule ok!
Ok so let's recap...
In 2009 I took a six week trip around SE Asia keeping my pact to write from the minute I stepped on the plane til I returned. That was an achievement in itself, my mentor reminds me. Then I spent a good bit of time turning my notebooks into a travel memoir draft called: Writing on Planes, Boats and Tuk Tuks.
I wrote around 50,000 words and bundled it up to present at Draft Swap, an annual event I run for writers in Sydney. I swapped with two other writers and in separate sessions received some useful feedback; it was clear I was writing at least three books, not one, and some drastic cutting was in order. I did write a snappy synposis and sent it plus (too many) pages off to an acquaintance who worked in publishing. She didn't ever reply (thank goodness) and I didn't follow it up. Oh yes, and I did apply for a Literature Board grant (which I didn't get) with the same snappy synposis and a letter of support from a major publisher. Then the screen goes black, though I do remember writing an ending in 2011in Sihanoukville, Cambodia, where by an extraordinary coincidence I was able to visit the actual area where MD's mother started her rice farm. But that's a story for another post.
It was in the Cambodia pages that my memoir stalled - Siem Reap to be exact. (My SE Asia journey had taken me to Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh City, up the Mekong to Phnom Penh, on to Siem Reap, Kuala Lumpur, Beijing, Jogjakarta, Bali). At home I kept going back, rewriting the early bits in an attempt to get a run at it, but always in the inspirational kingdom of Angkor Wat, I became completely becalmed.
It took some time to work out why.The structure I used to get my writing started was no longer relevant. It had been important to get me writing, but the more I tried to bend my story into its rigid framework it just didn't want to go.
In 2012, I went back to my notes to write a new 9000 word piece for my Masters project which I called The Girl On The Ferry. In this version the search for Duras became the major story arc and if I did go ahead and turn it into a book, Siem Reap wouldn't even have to figure. Great! I love the feeling of slash and burn. Doing the severe prune, cutting the foliage right back to the essence.
But now I am even throwing away that scaffolding. Read more here.
Like the words of the buddhist nun Pema Chodron:
If we’re willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation.
It seems to me that to write well, we have no choice but to embrace this idea of groundlessness in our daily writing practice. To write your truth simply and clearly without having to turn it into something else; a product, a book, even a blog, must be the ultimate joy and freedom.
That's why these days when anyone asks me, I simply repeat:
'No, I am not writing a book'.
Jan Cornall began writing in the 70s. She has written plays, musicals, screenplays, a novel, short stories, and three CDs of songs. Since 2004 she has led writer's retreats in inspirational international locations including Bali, Laos, Burma, Cambodia, Morocco and Fiji. In 2014 she is planning a Vietnam trip following the footsteps of M.Duras in Vietnam. More info here.
(c) Jan Cornall 2013
I am not writing a book. I'm playing around with ideas, images, meditations on a theme, Meditations on Melancholia.. now theres a workshop I could run... or run away from!
I'm using the snippet approach, the one I suggest to my students when they get stuck. Snippets can be cut and pasted, glued in, moved around. Snippets are short and sweet, complete or incomplete. Snippets rule ok!
Ok so let's recap...
In 2009 I took a six week trip around SE Asia keeping my pact to write from the minute I stepped on the plane til I returned. That was an achievement in itself, my mentor reminds me. Then I spent a good bit of time turning my notebooks into a travel memoir draft called: Writing on Planes, Boats and Tuk Tuks.
I wrote around 50,000 words and bundled it up to present at Draft Swap, an annual event I run for writers in Sydney. I swapped with two other writers and in separate sessions received some useful feedback; it was clear I was writing at least three books, not one, and some drastic cutting was in order. I did write a snappy synposis and sent it plus (too many) pages off to an acquaintance who worked in publishing. She didn't ever reply (thank goodness) and I didn't follow it up. Oh yes, and I did apply for a Literature Board grant (which I didn't get) with the same snappy synposis and a letter of support from a major publisher. Then the screen goes black, though I do remember writing an ending in 2011in Sihanoukville, Cambodia, where by an extraordinary coincidence I was able to visit the actual area where MD's mother started her rice farm. But that's a story for another post.
It was in the Cambodia pages that my memoir stalled - Siem Reap to be exact. (My SE Asia journey had taken me to Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh City, up the Mekong to Phnom Penh, on to Siem Reap, Kuala Lumpur, Beijing, Jogjakarta, Bali). At home I kept going back, rewriting the early bits in an attempt to get a run at it, but always in the inspirational kingdom of Angkor Wat, I became completely becalmed.
In 2012, I went back to my notes to write a new 9000 word piece for my Masters project which I called The Girl On The Ferry. In this version the search for Duras became the major story arc and if I did go ahead and turn it into a book, Siem Reap wouldn't even have to figure. Great! I love the feeling of slash and burn. Doing the severe prune, cutting the foliage right back to the essence.
But now I am even throwing away that scaffolding. Read more here.
Like the words of the buddhist nun Pema Chodron:
If we’re willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation.
It seems to me that to write well, we have no choice but to embrace this idea of groundlessness in our daily writing practice. To write your truth simply and clearly without having to turn it into something else; a product, a book, even a blog, must be the ultimate joy and freedom.
That's why these days when anyone asks me, I simply repeat:
'No, I am not writing a book'.
Jan Cornall began writing in the 70s. She has written plays, musicals, screenplays, a novel, short stories, and three CDs of songs. Since 2004 she has led writer's retreats in inspirational international locations including Bali, Laos, Burma, Cambodia, Morocco and Fiji. In 2014 she is planning a Vietnam trip following the footsteps of M.Duras in Vietnam. More info here.
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